Truth, Lie, Dare #5
DO NOT PLUCK YOUR CHIN HAIRS
Welcome to Truth, Lie, Dare (TLD): a weekly presence practice where I share a truth, a lie I'm telling myself, and commit to a dare. This framework helps me write consistently while time-constrained, and it's also an invitation to reflect however best suits you. I’ve loved hearing from you, so continue to share your TLDs if so compelled.
Not sure who needs to hear this but, DO NOT PLUCK YOUR CHIN HAIRS. You’re welcome.
Tl;dr
Truth—Chin hairs have entered the chat, and I’ve been plucking them.
Lie—Only "older" women get them and they reflect diminishing femininity; plus, plucking is a harmless quick fix that definitely won't make things worse (spoiler: it absolutely does). Also, you better keep this to yourself, or they’ll make fun of you.
Dare—Grow them out, without shame, and responsibly remove them, permanently (hello electrolysis) as not to scar your face any more than you already have.
My inbox lit up last week when I lightly mentioned perimenopause in TLD #4. Hot topic, literally in some cases, so I thought I’d spend some time here this week.
I’m freshly 42 and have been welcoming the signs and realities of aging as they’ve occurred. I silvered early, ditching the dye at 35, and have watched new wrinkles carve deeper lines on my face, thinning hair, hair in places I don’t want it, new symptoms and flows of my menstrual cycle, sleep changes (which feel more stress-related than hormonal), and shifts in my mental capacity for things I used to withstand.
On the flip side, my GAFF (give a f*ck factor) continues to plummet, I settle into myself, more easily recall the lessons I've learned, and can spot the ones coming so they're not as painful, mostly. I understand that the greatest achievement I'll have in the end is how much I expanded in love—love of myself, of others, and of this magical land with which we get to reside. As always, I look forward to the unfolding.
Thanks to a new wave of physicians like
, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Dr. Lisa Mosconi, Dr. Vonda Wright, Dr. Stacy Sims, and personalities like Tamsen Fadal, Naomi Watts, Tabitha Brown, and many others, we are finally having conversations out in the open about a decade-long health journey that happens to half of the population. Many of the doctors above will be the first to say that they received less than 10 hours of menopause education in medical school, so while advancements are promising, we have a long way to go to make an antiquated medical system literate in how to properly acknowledge this life stage for women instead of dismissing it, provide the right education long before it hits and care once it arrives.Gets off soapbox and returns to DO NOT PLUCK YOUR CHIN HAIRS.
I have dark hair, almost black. When I was in 7th grade, a boy who ironically liked me made fun of my mustache one day. I hadn't noticed the light coat of hair scattered on my upper lip, a gift from puberty that came without warning or an instruction manual.
I told my mom when I got home and her solution came quickly: an appointment with her electrolysist. For those unfamiliar, electrolysis removes hairs one by one with a machine that uses electric currents through a probe inserted into each hair follicle, destroying it and preventing future growth. My mustache didn’t stand a chance.
Fast forward to now. In what feels like a cruel joke, those upper lip hairs have been replaced by randomly sprouting chin hairs—thicker, darker, and more determined than their adolescent predecessors. It feels like Peri, as one of my pals calls it, is all, "You thought puberty was a wild ride? Hold on for the wrath of my hormone fluctuations."
Here's where I made a critical error: I started plucking them. Each morning, I’d gaze into my 10x magnifying mirror with lights (the kind no one has any business owning), hunting for new growth, digging it out with a tweezer or my nails in some cases, ultimately making it worse. Plucking (and picking) causes inflammation, can lead to ingrown hairs, and sometimes even stimulates more growth. It's like playing whack-a-mole with your face, except the moles multiply (please heed my warning).
So here I am, coming full circle, two electrolysis appointments down and more to go. The same technology that saved my 13-year-old self from more middle-school mustache mockery is now combatting this perimenopausal madness.
Let's normalize talking about these things without shame or embarrassment, okay? Whether it's the vain aspects of aging, perimenopause, or our deeper truths. Because somewhere right now, a woman is tilting her chin up in a demonic magnifying mirror, wondering if anyone else deals with this and what the hell she should do. This can be applied to so many things, thinking we’re on an island in our struggle when in actuality, many of us are dealing with the same things.
Perhaps we need to approach these realities like electrolysis itself—going straight to the root of our discomfort, applying a precise current of honesty, and pulsing out the shame once and for all. It might sting momentarily, but the relief is worth it. When we share these seemingly small but significant experiences, we break down the isolation that makes them feel so much heavier than they need to be. So here I am, chin forward, telling you about mine. Consider this your permission slip to do the same.
Related: This post is not about how women are indoctrinated early to groom their appearance to please men and the masses or tackle how this translates to shame, but
wrote a great piece on aspects of this which I highly recommend.
That’s all she wrote this week, folks. Hope you enjoyed it. Until next week, may you love and appreciate where you are, how far you've come, and how incredible you are.
xo
Lisa
A few other delights from my week …
Everything about this
On being “present-drive” vs “purpose-driven” from via
According to Liz, we should be aiming for a life that is ‘present driven, rather than purpose driven’. When we focus on the present moment, what is here and now and live our lives through curiosity, we are experiencing life as it happens. I can see the appeal of removing the pressure of purpose-anxiety. In the workshop, she had us write a list of things we love doing (our enchantment list) and asked us - “What if this is your life’s purpose? Just the things on this list? Just that? Perhaps, if we all lived by this, we’d be a lot less medicated”.
Reinforcement to STFD and pause courtesy of Instagram
Finally, don’t forget to go outside …
xo,
Lisa
What an outstanding column. Hilarious, poignant and practical all at once.
Lisa this is great!! It’s so true, I currently have more hair on my chin than under my arms which is nearly zero. Thank you for the insight, we both (Patty)will be checking on electrolysis.❤️🐻