Truth, Lie, Dare #1

On seeking approval, shame/ego responses, and the power of pause

Hello. It’s been the proverbial minute, 387 days to be exact, since I last published here. I had the highest hopes of consistently expressing and conversing with you all when I launched this newsletter in the fall of 2023.

Just as I had woven a tidy little narrative about my life at the time, one of my clients, a holistic health + wellness start-up, asked me to lead marketing. After some solid deliberation, I accepted and was catapulted into the depths of an amazing project that I have enjoyed immensely and one that has also consumed much of my time and challenged me in many ways.

While I stepped away from writing here, I didn't abandon what matters most—I just had to prioritize. It went like this: my health (spiritual + physical + mental), family, growing my coaching business, co-facilitating a Forest Bathing retreat, and getting into the wild as much as possible. That’s all I’ve had capacity for, and it is enough, despite some of my less grounded days that tell me otherwise. It is nice to see that growth in myself—the ability to find balance and better manage my workaholic tendencies. :)

Life is funny, and so am I. In the few moments I’ve had (made time) to write over the last year, I’ve churned out some decent content, but because my circumstances changed and the material didn’t feel perfectly in flow with what I envisioned here, I didn’t finish those pieces or publish them. I would anguish briefly and then proceed to pour myself into other places. Ironically, any of that content would have been perfect, as this newsletter is aptly described as “Reflections on meeting, receiving, + accepting ourselves as we are.” Told ya. Funny. I will forever be amused by how much of a WIP I am.

This leads me to Truth / Lie / Dare, a simple way to recommit to the intent of this space, to writing again, and not taking myself too seriously. It was born this morning as I reflected and journaled on a tough week that included a failure, the end of something, navigating complex situations at work, and conversations with a few different women living in their limiting beliefs (it’s a disease, I swear).

Each week I’ll share a truth (where I am now), a lie (how I hold myself back), and a dare (how I might grow). Fun, right?

And so, I leave you with this week’s and ask that if you find value in this frame, you give it a try too cause most things are better together, and at the end of the day we’re all more similar than we are different, and it’s in the smallest steps we take that help us make progress against whatever we are seeking/is seeking us ✨

• Truth: I still struggle with what others will think or how I, or something I create, may be received, and it holds me back. A hell of a lot less than it ever has, but it still exists (noted it in greater detail above in regards to not publishing my writing).

• Lie: “I’m not a good or effective communicator and therefore not good at what I do.” I had a few difficult exec-level conversations this week where I (or so I thought) tactfully laid out a perspective/solution on a big initiative my peer group and I feel is best for the business, and it wasn’t heard or received in the way I intended. There were many other dynamics at play, making it a hard meeting, but I took it personally to some degree, not because I think I’m right and didn’t accurately represent our POV but because that’s simply a fun two-parter ego/shame response I have—to translate a negative outcome to being “bad”. Awareness and acknowledging it as such (thanks, therapy) diminishes its power quickly, but that is key, or the snowball of limiting belief territory can kick in real fast.

• Dare: Pause… I stood down in another challenging conversation this week. Instead of being in a reactionary space, I spent most of it in observation and seeking to understand (much more than normal), and it taught me a lot. I’m a problem solver by nature, but there’s a time/place/space to do that, and the more information I get by listening, the better my response. ALSO, as we well know in these inflammatory times we’re living, some people simply can’t be swayed or have made up their minds, so energy and effort trying to convince them of anything is pointless. Instead, we can redirect our energy elsewhere. I will continue residing in the pause and encourage you to do the same if you’re not already.

Until next week, may you love and appreciate where you are, how far you’ve come, how incredible you are, and go outside.

xo

Double-ish Rainbow at Sunset | Grass Valley, CA | 2/14/25